Messages for those who grieve

Things to remember

"There are places in the heart that do not yet exist; suffering has to enter in for them to come to be." ----Leon Bloy

The focus of these messages are to lead caregivers to a deeper understanding of their grief as well as those around them. There are many books which review the subject of grief. Please seek further resources (people, organizations, and information) if needed. Taking care of your needs is important when caring for others and for remaining emotionally healthy!

  • There is no one right way to grieve.
  • Every person grieves individually.
  • All losses are not the same. People who have lost (or are losing) the same person, have NOT lost (or are NOT losing) the same person.
  • Cultural expectations can impede the grief process. "Being strong" is a misnomer. It often takes more strength to go through the pain than to shut it down.
  • Remember that in the light of all the pain we see, we are bound to feel helpless at times. Admit it without shame. Caring and being there are sometimes more important that doing.
  • Many find comfort in faith, but it is also normal to question beliefs or to experience a faith crisis.
  • It is very important to be kind, gentle, patient and understanding of oneself while grieving and to use appropriate self-care.
  • Some factors, such as character of the relationship, expectations of culture, the griever's history, health and support, previous losses, and other factors can effect the length and depth and process of grieving.
  • Seek help, if, over time, you are stuck, depressed, or not functioning well.